The Oakland Athletics are moving to Las Vegas. With such a big move come even bigger changes.
Here are eight changes coming to the Athletics in their new Vegas location:
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Some fans: No explanation needed.
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Moneyball will take on a whole new meaning: It’s just gambling.
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Concession stands will be replaced by buffets with prime rib stations and chocolate wonder falls: What a deal!
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In between plays, the Jumbotron will advise visitors to seek help with their gambling addiction: Also, there are slot machines everywhere.
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Brent Rooker to be accompanied by two white tigers and a juggling monkey during his home run trots: Wow!
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Fewer homeless people will be taking a dump in right field: And now they’re prostitutes.
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Umpires will also be Elvis impersonators: Viva Las Vegas!
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Umpire to check pitcher for STDs after every inning: What happens on the mound, stays on the mound.
What do you think? Are you excited the Athletics are moving to Vegas, or do you not even care?
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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