BOULDER, CO—Emphasizing that he was primarily focused on running the football team, head coach Deion Sanders admitted to reporters Wednesday that he has absolutely zero idea what school the Colorado Buffaloes play for. “Look, my job is to devote my full attention to making sure the offense puts points on the scoreboard and the defense stops the opposing team—anything else is just a distraction,” said Sanders, adding that he assumed the team had ties to “Buff State,” “Buffalo Tech,” or “Nebraska.” “You could ask the players, but I doubt they would know either. Oh! Buffalo University! Is that correct? It sounds kind of familiar. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the campus, but that might have just been a parking lot near the football field. If I’m being honest, I don’t care.” Sanders went on to ask reporters what the people in the stadium do when football games aren’t happening.
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