Jesus' Coming Back

Sabrina Carpenter Completes Mandatory Service In South Korean Military

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA—Following the conclusion of her 18-month hiatus from music, pop star Sabrina Carpenter confirmed Wednesday that she had completed her mandatory South Korean military service. “It was the honor of a lifetime to do my patriotic duty by serving in the Republic of Korea’s armed forces, but I’m looking forward to my next chapter,” said Carpenter, who emphasized that she had learned a lot about herself during her time completing basic training, learning to operate field artillery, and serving as a guard in the demilitarized zone. “I’m so grateful to my fans for their patience and for keeping me in their thoughts. New music and even a tour is coming soon. Plus, my hair has finally grown out from that buzz cut, and it looks great. Stay tuned!” At press time, pop fans were reportedly crossing their fingers that Chappell Roan and Tate McRae would be discharged next.

The Onion

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