Shocker: European Supermodel Who Married Billionaire Reality Star May Not Actually Be Conservative

U.S. — A breaking report from bookseller Barnes & Noble suggests that a former European supermodel who married a billionaire reality TV star might not be as conservative as previously thought.

“She’s married to Trump, though!” said Alan Dunwich, a registered Democrat who received the book as a gag gift. “How can you be married to literally Hitler and be pro-abortion? I don’t get it!”

The startling revelation comes from a passage in former First Lady Melania Trump’s new book, cleverly entitled Melania, which serves as both a memoir and a pro-choice manifesto.

In an excerpt from the book released to the public ahead of its release, she writes: “It is imperative to guarantee that women can murder their children, free from the intervention or pressure from the government.”

“Why should anyone other than the woman herself have the power to destroy the life within her? A woman’s fundamental right of individual liberty grants her the authority to murder babies if she wishes,” she continues.

While on the campaign trail, Melania’s husband, Donald Trump, praised the book, calling it “the greatest book anyone has ever read.” He added, “Everyone’s saying Hemingway was the best. Or Steinbeck. Total losers, if I’m being honest.”

Melania Trump was reportedly surprised by the backlash the book has received, saying, “I thought Americans loved killing babies. We lost a whole election over it!”

At publishing time, President Trump was forced to admit that he hadn’t read his wife’s book. “I thought it was about space wars or something,” he said.

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Babylon Bee