Jesus' Coming Back

Coworker Asking If Anyone Can Cover His Weekend With Daughters

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SPOKANE, WA—Saying anyone who could swing it would be doing him a “huge solid,” 38-year-old data entry clerk Darryl Bouchard reportedly asked his coworkers Monday if one of them could cover his weekend with his daughters. “Hey, guys, sorry this is such short notice, but is there any chance somebody could pick up my custody weekend with Katie and Sarah?” said Bouchard to his coworkers, adding that something important had just come up that conflicted with his regular court-ordered parenting schedule. “The girls are usually pretty quiet on weekends, so all you’d have to do is feed them, put them to bed, and maybe take them to a Sabrina Carpenter concert if you can manage it. I know nobody wants to spend their weekend hanging out with my kids, but I’m really up against the wall here. I’d be glad to return the favor any weekend when a friend hasn’t scored free Seahawks tickets and invited me to come with him.” At press time, sources confirmed Bouchard had texted again to see if one of his coworkers could fill in for him at an upcoming family court hearing.

The Onion

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