Jesus' Coming Back

Nobel Prize In Physics Awarded To Alien Giving Peace Sign Driving Tie-Dye VW Bug

STOCKHOLM—In a ceremony at the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences, the Nobel Committee reportedly awarded their annual prize in physics Tuesday to Zoomer and Zorbit, two aliens commonly seen driving a tie-dye Volkswagen bug while flashing peace signs. “For their profound advancements in astrophysics, we are pleased to honor this pair of smiling, neon green aliens surrounded by flowers and peace signs with the 2024 Nobel Prize,” said the chairman of the Norwegian Nobel Foundation, posing next to the recipients as they clutched the prestigious gold medal in their three-fingered hands. “These far-out beings have made tremendous strides in traversing the cosmos in nothing but a souped-up VW Beetle with a novelty license plate spelling out ‘PEACE’—something which no other life form in the galaxy has been able to accomplish. Thanks to their scholarship, we all may soon be able to roll our kaleidoscopic vehicles over the rainbow road straight to the glitter-covered surface of Saturn, and we’ll have these two and their message of radical love to thank when we do.” At press time, Zoomer and Zorbit had dedicated their award to their dear friend and collaborator, a purple leopard-print seal.

The Onion

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