Kamala Courts Indigenous Voters By Telling Crowd She Grew Up In A Middle-Class Teepee

ERIE, PA — With political analysts emphasizing how important every single vote will be on election day, Vice President Kamala Harris courted indigenous voters by telling the crowd at her campaign rally that she grew up in a middle-class teepee.

The Democratic candidate for president took the stage in front of a crowd of Pennsylvanians, proudly wearing a traditional Native American headdress while recounting her childhood spent living in a modest, middle-class wigwam among other decent, hardworking indigenous black-Jamaican-Indian Americans.

“It is always important to remember how important the importance is,” Harris told the crowd. “First of all, I grew up in a middle-class teepee. I understand the struggles of my fellow indigenous peoples. As time passes, we must take the time to look back in time at the atrocities perpetrated in former times and continue to be perpetrated in our current time, time and time again. It is only by identifying with the indigenous peoples within ourselves that we can honor the indigenous peoples who have already existed outside of us. And that is how I will fix our economy.”

Journalists marveled at the vice president’s reverence and solemnity in commemorating such an important day. “That’s the most presidential feathered headdress I’ve ever seen,” said one reporter who was reduced to tears. “You should have seen her dancing and shouting her war cry when she met with a group of indigenous people backstage. It was truly inspiring.”

At publishing time, Kamala Harris had issued a statement decrying Donald Trump as an “evil paleface who stole real estate from tribe many moons ago.”

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