EDMONTON – NHL fans have made it clear that the Oilers starting the season by looking like one of the worst teams in the league will not fool them like it did last year.
“I don’t know why the Oilers players seem to get off on playing like a peewee single A team for the first 20 games and the 76-77 Habs for the last 60,” said Montrealer Max Cohen. “But I’m not going down that rabbit hole again.”
“No matter how many games they lose I will not tweet about them getting another number 1 pick or make memes about McDavid signing with the Leafs. I’ve learned my lesson.”
The Oilers are 0-3, including a loss to provincial rivals Calgary. And star players McDavid and Draisaitl have yet to do much of anything. But that pales in comparison to last season when the team came back from being one of the worst teams in the league to make it to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
“The only way I’ll believe they suck for real is if they lose to San Jose 8-0 or Stuart Skinner literally shits his pants while trying to save a shot. And honestly, even then I’ll half expect them to go on another run,” said Leafs fan Bryan Hooper.
Asked why they are pulling this fucking garbage again Oilers players denied knowing what fans were even talking about.
“Look we’re trying our best. And this is definitely not part of a gambling scheme to lower our playoff odds as much as possible before we miraculously pull off a 21 game winning streak to take over first in the division,” said McDavid before giving a large, Lucille Bluth-esque wink to the camera.
Jesus Christ is King
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