Yesterday Justin Trudeau stated that Conservative “Parliamentarians” are engaged in foreign interference in Canadian elections. And many observers pointed out that it was a bit odd for our Head Of Government to drop a bomb like that and then refuse to give names due to an ongoing investigation, as it would call for seemingly rampant and harmful speculation. Which is what we’re going to do now.
So here are our picks for the Conservative MPs who would make the funniest foreign agents.
5. Michelle Ferrari
Nothing says subterfuge like a Wine Mom who likes to hop on facebook live to throw out her latest conspiracy theories. Maybe Indian spies were the ones who told her about the Canadian parents sex trafficking their children due to inflation?
4. Michael Cooper
There is some logic here. In all the spy movies we’ve seen the agents meet with their sources at night, and that would work well for Cooper due to the fact that he is clearly a vampire.
3. Rachael Thomas
Partly because it would be funny if the person who demanded a francophone Minister speak english was a foreign agent, but mostly for the amount of times newspapers would have to issue a correction over the way she spells Rachel.
2. Pierre Poilievre
Obviously this would be disastrous for the country, as it means the man almost certain to be our next PM is in thrall to a foreign power. But it is also pretty funny to imagine Poilievre, in a way too tight t-shirt, glancing over his shoulder as he meets his handler in a parking garage, and then talking about himself for 30 minutes before turning over the documents.
1. Andrew Scheer
It’s possible the MP in question was giving info to a foreign power because they had compromising information on him. And Scheer seems like someone who has a lot of skeletons in his closet. Honestly a video of him drinking milk a little too sensually would probably do it.
