Jesus' Coming Back

New Brunswick notifies Blaine Higgs’ parents that his name changing to “ex-premier Blaine Higgs”

FREDERICTON – Today officials with the Government notified the parents of , which they are required to do according to Policy 713, to inform them that Higgs name is being officially changed to “ex-premier Blaine Higgs”.

Policy 713 forbids New Brunswick teachers from using the preferred names and pronouns of students under the age of 16 without parental consent. In the case of Higgs losing last night’s provincial , including his own riding, the policy explicitly states that his parents be called regarding his change in identity.

“I’m just doing my duty,” explained Amy McArthur, spokesperson for the New Brunswick Legislative Assembly, “though seems strange to call these parents considering their son is 70 years old, and also said parents have been deceased for several years.”

“But the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity policy is extremely clear on only using the so-called ‘correct’ names for all New Brunswickers, and ex-premier Higgs is no exception,” McArthur added before leaving a voicemail.

At press time ex-premier Blaine Higgs was requesting that the province call the head offices of Irving Oil to request permission for him to be addressed by his preferred identity, “I’m still premier and you can’t make me leave Blaine Higgs”.

Beaverton

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