JUPITER, FL—In a tragic incident that has left MAGA world reeling, 55-year-old television personality Kimberly Guilfoyle reportedly died Wednesday after attempting to remove her makeup. “Unfortunately, it appears the makeup was really the only thing holding her face structurally together at this point,” said a medical responder who spoke with reporters on the condition of anonymity and confirmed that everything from Guilfoyle’s eyebrows to her lips had “slid right off” after she applied micellar water to her face, leaving a gruesome scene behind and exposing her bare skull. “It was absolutely horrific. She likely would have succumbed anyway, given the combined weight of makeup, lash extensions, and fillers dragging her face down, but it is a tragedy nonetheless. Hopefully her death can serve as a wake-up call to others, such as Lara Trump and Gov. Kristi Noem.” At press time, sources added that for a moment before her death, Guilfoyle looked kind of beautiful.
