Jesus' Coming Back

Report: Due to shrinkflation, Halloween chip bags now just air

TORONTO – When local man Peter Vidal decided to have “just one bag” of the Halloween chips he purchased for trick-or-treaters, he was shocked to discover that it contained only air.

“I was expecting the usual 4 or 5 chips, but there was nothing,” recounts Vidal, who paid the unchanged price of $12.75 for the “Classic Mix” variety pack. “I thought it was a fluke, but when I opened the rest in the box – just to check, I swear – they were all empty.”

The chips’ manufacturer Frito-Lay – who owns brands like Doritos, Lay’s, and Ruffles – has faced criticism this past year over shrinkflation practices.

Though unwilling to clarify if their Halloween offering was also subjected to the tactic, a spokesperson for the company said, “Eagle eyes may notice a reduction in volume, but rest assured that the air we add – which comes from only the highest quality potatoes – is important in maintaining the integrity of the chips, whether they are present or not. We’re proud to say that our mini-Halloween bags now contain 100% more air.”

The response from prospective trick-or-treaters on if they’ll still accept chips this year has been mixed.

“My kid brother Jimmy trick-or-treats with one of those plastic pumpkin buckets,” says 10-year-old Anthony Serles. “Two bags of chips is all it takes to fill it up and end his night. And now there might be no chips in the bags? We’re not willing to lose the real estate space.”

“I’ll take the risk!” says 8-year-old Eleanor Cruz, whose parents enforce healthy, organic eating all other days of the year. “I’ll be happy to even smell a chip, honestly.”

“Hmmm, I’ll say no to chips if I can,” says 5-year-old Leon Everett. “But I can’t really see anything through my Mandalorian helmet.”

Chips aren’t the only Halloween treat that are suspected to have been impacted by shrinkflation. Nestlé’s fun size Kit Kat, Coffee Crisp and Aero bars also appear noticeably smaller.

When pressed for comment, a Nestlé spokeswoman coyly asked, “Are the chocolate bars getting smaller, or are kids’ hands just getting bigger as they grow?”

She then, along with Frito-Lay’s rep, let out a loud cackle as they flew off on their broomsticks. 

Beaverton

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