Anxious Trump Spends Election Night Watching Old ‘Gilmore Girls’ Episodes In Bed
PALM SPRINGS, FL—Nervously tossing his turned-off phone out of arm’s reach, an anxious Donald Trump told reporters Tuesday that he was spending election night watching old Gilmore Girls episodes in bed. “I can’t deal with all this election stuff, so I’m just going to ignore it all and binge Gilmore Girls,” said the former president, wearing pajamas as he tuned out the barrage of exit polls and focused instead on the mother-daughter relationship between Rory and Lorelai Gilmore. “I told everyone not to come in and bother me with election results right now. I just want to watch Lorelai and Luke fall in love. Ugh, I wish America were more like Stars Hollow.” At press time, sources confirmed Trump was growing increasingly apprehensive about whether Logan or Jess was ahead in the race for Rory’s heart.
