Jesus' Coming Back

DNC Email Pleads For $20 To Cheer Them Up

WASHINGTON—Calling on all Democrats to step up and donate in the wake of Donald Trump’s victory in the 2024 presidential election, a fundraising email sent out Wednesday by the Democratic National Committee pleaded for a donation of $20 to help cheer them up. “ATTENTION VOTERS: Kamala Harris and her fellow Democrats woke up this morning feeling EXTREMELY BUMMED,” wrote House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries in a 600-word email with the subject line “URGENT: VERY SAD.” “Last night was HARD, but with your HELP, we can make sure Republicans don’t take away our SMILES completely. For just $20, you can put the PEP back in our STEP. Are you with me?” At press time, the DNC sent a follow-up email that featured photos of Harris, Nancy Pelosi, and Liz Cheney frowning alongside a caption that read “LOOK WHAT YOU DID.”

The Onion

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