STEWARTSTOWN, PA—With Donald Trump decisively winning a second term as president, local sources reported this week that those tireless civil rights crusaders weren’t so smug now, were they? “This ought to shut up those self-satisfied supporters of civil rights for a while,” said Trump voter Henry Pluss, stressing that it was about time somebody put those high-and-mighty champions of equality and human dignity in their places. “Right about now they must feel pretty stupid for strutting around like a better future was possible, huh? Finally, those proponents of social justice regardless of race or creed have been knocked off their high horses, forced to admit their perseverance in the face of oppression was one big ego trip. This’ll teach them to try to leave a better world for their children, those condescending pricks!” Pluss went on to add that he hoped the 2024 election would put a stop to the self-righteous concept of compassion once and for all.
