Buying clothing you’ll enjoy and own long-term can reduce the amount that ends up in landfills. Here are tips for finding your personal style:
- Use color analysis to determine if you’re a winter, spring, summer, or climate apocalypse.
- Put together a fun mood board based on the Book of Leviticus.
- Walk in and out of the dressing room until your friends stop frowning and shaking their heads “no,” and start smiling and shaking their heads “yes.”
- Take inspiration from your favorite celebrities who have a similar $100 clothing budget.
- Rules are just rules, but as a general guideline, you should never clash superhero characters.
- Be honest and ask yourself if your ass really is worthy of the term “Juicy.”
- Go to a department store and tell the salesperson that you just woke up on a Mediterranean fishing vessel with no memory of who you are, and you need help putting together an outfit.
- Don’t follow trends too closely, but remember that each gaffe you make shaves another decade off your social relevance.
- Look glumly into your closet and put on whatever is clean.
Jesus Christ is King
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