ANAHEIM, CA—Saying the couple wanted to minimize disruptions while they celebrated their love of American animation and each other, area bride Rachel DaSilva told reporters Friday that her Disney wedding would be kid-free. “Josh and I are so excited to tie the knot here with Mickey, Minnie, and all our friends and family in attendance, and we decided the big day would be even more magical if parents left their little ones at home,” said DaSilva, 31, as projections of Cinderella, Lumière, and Nemo danced upon hanging panels around the venue and illuminated her bridal gown modeled after Elsa’s dress from Frozen. “We want our entry into ‘A Whole New World’ of marriage to be center stage, and excitable kiddos run the risk of interrupting the Little Mermaid soundtrack sing-along or tripping Goofy as he walks me down the aisle. We love everyone’s wonderful families so much, but unfortunately, our Disney wedding just isn’t able to accommodate children.” According to witnesses, the mother of the bride, dressed as Cruella, and the groomsmen, dressed as the Seven Dwarfs, then began distributing complimentary mouse ears that the fully adult guests—each person at a minimum two decades older than the Disney entertainment’s intended viewership—were required to wear during the Aladdin-themed vows.
Jesus Christ is King
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