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It’s a dark time to be a progressive. But it’s the Thanksgiving season, which means it’s time to be thankful to whatever non-specific deity or power you believe in. Let’s try to keep up that spirit of gratitude by reminding ourselves of these ten things libs can still be thankful for:
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Trump will probably only be in office for another 30 years. — Max.
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You can run Kamala again against J.D. Vance next time. — In fact, we encourage it.
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We still get Biden as president for another two months. — 60 more days of utopia.
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There’s still time to move to a foreign, socialist country like Canada or California. — Better hurry.
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You can still watch your DVD copies of The West Wing. — President Bartlet’s shoulder is always available for you to cry on.
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Although we’ll be under a fascist dictatorship, avocado toast will be cheaper. — A small comfort to live during the Fourth Reich, but hey, it’s something.
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You’ll only have to wear your handmaid outfit while you’re outside. — It won’t be mandatory indoors for another six months.
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Be thankful for all the good memories we’ve made, like when Lizzo campaigned for Kamala, or when she was all “brat” and stuff. That was cool. — Or remember Beyonce? Or when Kamala went on that sex podcast? Man. That was fun.
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PowerWash Simulator. — This fun game is available on most major video game platforms for a reasonable price. You just power wash stuff. Very relaxing. Gets your mind off the fact that Hitler is in office. Let’s be thankful for the little things.
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When Trump reveals himself as the Antichrist and kicks off seven years of tribulation, you’ll be able to smugly tell your Republican friends, “I told you so.” — Their tears will be delicious.
We hope these ten things will get you through the next four years. What else can libs be thankful for? Scream them at the sky now.
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