PALM BEACH, FL—Admitting that ever since he joined the campaign trail the billionaire tech mogul had refused to leave him alone, President-elect Donald Trump reportedly locked the bathroom door Tuesday so Elon Musk couldn’t follow him in again. “All right, Elon, out,” an audibly frustrated Trump had said moments earlier as he stood up from the toilet and grabbed Musk by the scruff to throw him out, the SpaceX founder having barged in through the slightly ajar door, sat at his feet, stared into his eyes, and loudly whined. “Bad Elon. You know the bed, the couch, and the toilet are off limits. Now, go to your kennel and lie down. Or do you want to get hit with the newspaper again?” At press time, source confirmed Trump had sent Musk to be neutered after he got out of his crate and impregnated dozens of female aides.
