Trump Announces Plan To Deport 5,000 Illegal Immigrants In One Pre-Owned Honda Civic Hatchback
PALM BEACH, FL — As the public awaited the changes that come along with the transition to a new presidential administration, President-elect Donald Trump announced a plan to deport 5,000 illegal immigrants in one pre-owned Honda Civic hatchback.
As part of his sweeping overhaul of the nation’s immigration policies, Trump revealed that he would be sending many immigrants back the same way they came — crammed into every available nook and cranny of a used Honda.
“Spacious cars, those Honda Civics,” Trump said in brief comments to reporters when questioned about his deportation plans. “As long as people are arriving across our southern border packed like little sardines into the crevices of four-door sedans, our brave Border Patrol agents will work tirelessly to send them back the same way. There’s a surprising amount of trunk space in these Hondas, folks. Hispanic Hatchbacks, we call them.”
Tom Homan, the man Trump has tasked with addressing the crisis of illegal migrants flooding into the country, said preparations were already being made to implement the plan. “We’ve identified and acquired a Honda Civic hatchback,” Homan said. “This vehicle will begin making regular trips back across the border into Mexico transporting 5,000 illegal immigrants each time. We expect it to be an effective part of our deportation process. It also has a CD player.”
At publishing time, officials confirmed that the driver of the hatchback would be instructed to leave the air conditioner off to mimic the same conditions the migrants experienced while being smuggled into the country.
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