Israel Asks Hezbollah To Please Wait By Pagers For Message Announcing Start Of Ceasefire
BEIRUT — After announcing that an agreement had been reached for a pause in military operations, Israel asked Hezbollah to please wait by their pagers for a message to confirm what time the ceasefire would begin.
After over a year of open warfare between Israel and Hezbollah, both sides are anxiously anticipating the ceasefire message being delivered to every remaining Hezbollah terrorist.
“The print will be very small, so maybe hold the pager close to your face,” suggested Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “Hold it with both hands to keep it steady. If you’re concerned you’ll miss the notice, try keeping the pager held tightly against your ear.”
While many hailed the agreement as a major breakthrough, some Hezbollah terrorists remained pessimistic. “I just keep getting the feeling that there’s more to the story,” said local terrorist Mohammed Abdallah, strapping on his pager. “I can’t put my finger on it. Call it a hunch, but I think there may be some trickery going on.”
At publishing time, the Mossad had excitedly started the countdown to the ceasefire message.
There’s lots to be thankful for, libs!
