Jesus' Coming Back

Low Folding Chair Pulled Up To Corner Of Mar-A-Lago Conference Table For JD Vance

PALM BEACH, FL—Clearing their throats as the vice president-elect knocked on the door of the Mar-a-Lago conference room and poked his head inside, members of the presidential transition team reportedly rolled their eyes Friday and allowed JD Vance to pull a low folding chair up to a corner of the table. “Hey everyone, JD is here—can everyone scoot over and make some room?” said incoming White House chief of staff Susie Wiles, who winced as the 40-year-old Ohio senator dragged the chair’s metal legs loudly across the floor, placed the seat right next to Donald Trump, and sat barely peeking over the table’s edge. “So, JD, we don’t have a printout for you, but you can look on with [border czar] Tom [Homan]. Actually, now that you’re here, would you mind taking notes? Thanks so much, bud.” At press time, Vance had reportedly sprinted out of the meeting to get paper towels after attempting to refill Trump’s water and spilling on the laptops of several senior officials.

The Onion

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