Scientists Posit Theoretical Existence Of ‘Hootie And The Blowfish’ Fan Somewhere In The Universe
U.S. — Researchers with the National Institute of Science are now positing the theoretical existence of a Hootie and the Blowfish fan, perhaps somewhere in the known universe.
The claim was met with shock from the scientific community as well as a fair share of criticism.
“We all fondly remember Hootie and the Blowfish, from that one time in the 90s when we overheard someone else saying the words ‘Hootie and the Blowfish,'” said Dr. Chad Figgle, who led the research team. “But up to now, we’ve never been able to prove the existence of a single fan of the band.”
“We are proud to announce we are closer to proving a fan’s existence than ever before.”
The group, led by Darius Rucker is well-known for beloved hits such as that one song about a thing, and that one other song with the memorable lyrics that no one understood.
“For the longest time, I wasn’t sure whether the band was real, or something my brain had made up in a fever dream,” said Dr. Figgle. “Now we know for sure this band actually existed, and that it likely had fans. We hope to find one someday.”
At publishing time, scientists had discovered what was believed to be a Hootie and the Blowfish fan residing in rural Indiana but were still unable to confirm.
Check out the new, improved, more inclusive D&D.
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.