As one generation gives way to the next, you may find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering, “Hey, am I old now?”
Here are 15 signs that you are, in fact, old:
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You saw this article scrolling Facebook: Dead giveaway.
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You have something in your wallet called “cash”: Okay, boomer.
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You take a minute to plan your approach before picking something up off the floor: Can’t be too hasty.
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You whisper secrets so Alexa doesn’t hear you: You know they’re listening!
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You experience the sudden urge to put on a Steely Dan CD: Plus, you own CDs.
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You have car glasses, reading glasses, work glasses, TV glasses, and regular glasses: None of which you can locate.
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Your orthopedist named his boat after you: Subtle, but a sure sign.
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You just checked the clock to see when you can take ibuprofen again: Nope, it’s only been 13 minutes.
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You tape little pieces of paper over your computer’s camera so the hackers can’t see you: Smart.
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You think Babylon Bee headlines are real news: A classic symptom of oldness.
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You sign all of your texts ‘Love, Dad’: And you think LOL means ‘Lots of Love.’
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Reeeeeee!!: Oh, that’s just your tinnitus flaring up again.
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You’re on an Alaskan cruise: They’re like a siren song to the old.
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You were born in the 1930s: Pretty straightforward.
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You got elected to Congress: Oof.
How many boxes did you check there, old-timer?
Here’s what RFK Jr. will do to get everyone back in shape!
Jesus Christ is King
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