OTTAWA – With Justin Trudeau facing perhaps his greatest political challenge, the ghost of his late father, former Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau, appeared before him to ask the pressing question of whether former girlfriend Kim Cattrall is still foxy as hell.
“Dad, please, my own Economic Minister just quit and I’m polling to lose the next election – stop asking me if Ms. Cattrall ‘can still get it’,” implored the sitting Prime Minister of Canada, speaking to the spectral apparition of his own father.
Eyewitnesses report that rather than offering strategy on how to reverse the Liberal Party’s political fortunes or grapple with tariff threats from incoming US president Donald Trump, the eerie and unknowable phantom would not stop requesting updates on whether the Sex & The City starlet is still “a hot little piece”.
“We could hear the Prime Minister talking animatedly to someone in his office late at night, and naturally worried it was an intruder,” explained the head of Trudeau’s RCMP detail. “But when we checked, it turned out to be the unmoored spirit of Canada’s 15th Prime Minister, who would not stop asking about whether Kim Cattrall still asked about him.”
The conversation between the two Trudeaus reportedly stretched late into the night, with the elder deceased statesman retaining a singular focus on Cattrall’s current attractiveness. “Look, son, I understand that you’re trapped in the toughest political fight of your life, but I have crossed all the way over from the afterlife to remind you that not only did I date Kim Cattrall, but I managed to pull that when I was 62 years old. Sixty-Two! Your old man still had the moves.”
“Also, we’re talking a Porky’s-era Kim Cattrall, if you catch my drift,” added the phantasm, winking his translucent eye. “She was good. To. Go.”
Sources indicate that Prime Minister Trudeau eventually grew weary of his ethereal father’s single-minded focus on an actress “he totally nailed” after escorting her to the Genie Awards in March of 1981. From there the PM returned to late night phone calls with Liberal Party campaign managers, pausing briefly to google “Kim Cattrall single?” for his undead and inquisitive father.
“I’d hoped that dad’s ghost would be intrigued by the internet, and that maybe I could steer him towards some 338Canada polling analysis,” yawned an exhausted Trudeau, “but instead he kept asking me to go to YouTube and replay the SATC scene where Samantha makes a sex tape, and then elbowing me in the ribs knowingly.”
Reached for comment, 68-year-old actress and philanthropist Kim Cattrall responded, “Give that ghost my number, I wanna get under the sheets.”
Jesus Christ is King
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