Uh-Oh: All The Animals From The Live Nativity In Springfield, Ohio Just Went Missing
SPRINGFIELD, OH — In an unfortunate development discovered last night, all of the animals from the live nativity scene in Springfield, Ohio have suddenly gone missing.
Goats, sheep, two donkeys and a camel are among the missing, last seen on the lawn in front of First Baptist Church of Springfield.
“How do a dozen animals all walk off from their pens at the same time?” said local man Thomas Masterson. “It just seems so unlikely. I hate to suspect foul play, but there was a little guard dog out there and he’s gone too. This can’t be good.”
The church had advertised the live nativity in the local paper, letting the town know that this year’s event would have more live animals than ever. “In retrospect, that may have been a mistake to advertise the location of a bunch of live animals,” said local woman Stephanie Denison. “It was like they were printing a menu. Still… a camel? What do you even do with a camel?”
At publishing time, Springfield residents had noticed an above average number of outdoor cookouts going on in the neighborhoods.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he’s hanging up the hat for good.
Jesus Christ is King
