BLUE SPRINGS, MO — As holiday preparations continued to be made, one local dad could hardly contain his excitement for the time to come to open gifts, as he couldn’t wait to play with the toys he got his kids for Christmas.
Aaron Timson spent several weeks accumulating all the toys he really wanted so he could have his wife wrap them as gifts for the kids in anticipation of spending hours playing with them himself on Christmas morning.
“I’m going — I mean, they’re going to love this stuff,” Timson said. “The belt-fed Nerf machine gun… the Lego tower of Barad-dûr… the full set of 6-inch Star Wars Black Series figures from A New Hope… so awesome. It’ll be so much fun to… um… watch them play with them. Yeah, that’s it.”
Timson’s wife, Dana, disclosed that he had taken an uncharacteristically prominent role in shopping for the kid’s Christmas gifts this year. “He normally doesn’t even know what they’re getting until they open the presents,” she said. “This year? He was the one telling me what they were going to be getting. You should have seen how giddy he was when he was listing off the things we should get them. It was almost as if they were things he wanted to play with. But that would be silly and immature, right?”
At publishing time, Timson had informed his wife that he would probably keep all the kids’ toys in his office after they opened their gifts so that they would be kept safe and not end up missing any pieces.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he’s hanging up the hat for good.
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.