VICTORIA, BC – A local woman experienced a decorative emergency this week when her collection of coffee table books exceeded her number of coffee tables.
Wendy Miller, 39, realized the emergency when she returned home from her family Christmas celebration with a newly gifted coffee table book, 1001 Books to Think About Reading Before You Die, only to be shocked with the sudden realization that she has but one coffee table.
“And it already has a book on it!” she exclaimed, wiping her tears with an old paperback. “What else am I supposed to do with my copy of 1001 Books to Think About Writing Before You Die?”
Miller has resorted to experimenting with other tables on which to place her new book, including her side table, her bedside table, and those little tables that come on top of pizza. Unfortunately, none were large enough to house her latest enormous volume.
She also tried to find alternative uses for the new book, including using it as each a monitor stand, a step stool, and a weighted blanket. None of these efforts proved successful.
“I couldn’t find a solution, so I decided to just table the matter,” said Miller, which apparently meant buying three more coffee tables.
When asked if she could simply stack the coffee table books on top of one another, Miller responded that she had tried, but unfortunately the books were both bottoms.
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