The start of the new year is traditionally a time when people make their resolutions to better themselves. While many New Year’s resolutions quickly fall by the wayside, there are some who reap the benefits of sticking with them. Bible characters are no different.
Here is an exclusive list of a dozen well-known biblical figures and their New Year’s resolutions:
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Adam: “Never let my wife pick what we’re eating.”
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Jonah: “Just obey the first time.”
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Peter: “Go the entire year without slicing anyone’s ear off or denying Christ.”
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Cain: “Stop letting Abel be better than me… one way or another.”
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Sisera: “Before falling asleep in someone’s tent, ask them if they plan on nailing my head to the floor.”
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King Eglon: “Drop a few pounds.”
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Solomon: “Limit myself to one new wife per week.”
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Samson: “No more gold-digging floozies.”
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Isaac: “Learn to tell the difference between my sons, other than one of them being hairy.”
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Noah: “Invest in a decent poop shovel for future boat trips.”
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John: “Continue dominating Peter in foot races.”
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Satan: “Follow my heart.”
Good luck to all those Bible characters in keeping their resolutions this year. What are your New Year’s resolutions? Post them in the comments below.
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