Jesus' Coming Back

Man Injured Protecting Wife From Polar Bear

A man has sustained serious injuries after rescuing his wife who was ambushed by a polar bear in an early morning attack, leaping on to the animal to prevent an attack after the woman slipped to the ground. What do you think?

“Only an asshole would interrupt a stranger’s meal like that.”

Hamilton Scarola, Kale Lobbyist


“Him getting injured must have been such a turn-off.”

Xavier Renard, Wig Colorist


“God forbid a woman gets to sustain her own serious injuries.”

Clara Hogan, Bleach Bottler

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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