The Babylon Bee Has Obtained The Official White House Schedule For The Final Two Weeks Of Biden’s Presidency
The day is fast approaching when Joe Biden will depart from the White House. With only two short weeks remaining in his presidency, people may be wondering what he’ll do with the time he has left.
The Babylon Bee has obtained the following official itinerary to show just what Joe will be up to in his final days as president:
Jan 6 – Lay wreath at AOC’s grave on the fourth anniversary of her death at the Capitol.
Jan 7 – Pizza Party on the White House lawn (with piñata, pony rides, and ice cream).
Jan 8 – Pajama Day
Jan 9 – Thank the queer, colored broad who takes all the questions from the press.
Jan 10 – Movie Night in the Oval Office to watch everyone’s favorite film Eyes Wide Shut.
Jan 11 – Sleep.
Jan 12 – Pardon Hunter again, just to be safe.
Jan 13 – Lunch with Jimmy Carter.
Jan 14 – Sign executive order making all previous executive orders permanent with no backsies.
Jan 15 – Help Jill carry White House silverware out to the car.
Jan 16 – Hold one last coke orgy in the West Wing.
Jan 17 – Have Hunter do one final sweep for any remaining bags of crack.
Jan 18 – Give Taiwan to China real quick.
Jan 19 – Launch a few nukes at Russia.
Jan 20, Morning – Take one last dump in the Oval Office bathroom and forget to flush.
With everything accomplished, Joe will then ride off into the sunset to spend the rest of his life relaxing with Jill, Hunter, and cases and cases of stolen highly classified documents.
Thanks to clown world, it’s been a great year for comedy. Here are some of our top-performing sketches of 2024!
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.