With less than two weeks remaining before his triumphant return to the Oval Office, Trump is already making big moves, including declaring that the Gulf of Mexico will be renamed the Gulf of America. What other new names does he have up his sleeve?
The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of other things Trump plans to rename:
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All USB ports in the country will be renamed “USA Ports”: Only patriotic connections for electronic devices from now on.
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The Statue of Liberty will now be “Lady Melania”: The only proper name for the biggest, most beautiful woman in the world.
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French Fries will now be known as “Florida fries”: All restaurants must comply or face the consequences.
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South America will now be known as “Worse Mexico”: There’s only room for one America in this world. The right one.
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New Mexico will be required to call itself “West Texas”: No part of the United States should ever be called Mexico.
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Greenland will now be called “AmericaLand”: So much better.
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Georgia will be required to rename itself South South Carolina: That’s for 2020, Georgia.
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The first country that agrees to rename itself “Trumpistan” gets free NATO membership: Any nation should see the value in this.
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China will now be spelled “Chy-na” on all world maps: We all say it that way anyway.
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Tex-Mex cuisine will now be simply “Tex-Tex”: Nachos are American now, folks.
It’s not even January 20th yet, and America can’t stop winning. Have your ideas for new names Trump should consider? List them below in the comments.
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