After nearly a decade as prime minister, Justin Trudeau announced his resignation this week. The Onion sat down with the outgoing Canadian leader to discuss the highs and lows of his tenure.
The Onion: What prompted the timing of your resignation?
Trudeau: I didn’t want to be a distraction while my party cleans up the pile of shit I just dumped in their lap.
The Onion: What are some highlights from your time in office?
Trudeau: Getting to meet the pope, getting to touch the pope’s hat, getting to go in the pope’s little car.
The Onion: Have you found a bright side to resigning as prime minister?
Trudeau: You can’t get canceled for blackface if you don’t have a job.
The Onion: Should Canada join the U.S.?
Trudeau: And bend the knee to an old, out-of-touch billionaire of ill-gotten gains? Sorry, we already do that.
The Onion: Is there anything you would have done differently?
Trudeau: I would have jailed all those people who said I looked bad with a beard.
The Onion: What are your plans for the future?
Trudeau: Probably start a podcast with my buds and collect checks on the board of whatever Canada’s version of Google is.
Jesus Christ is King
