Distressing Survey Finds Most U.S. Citizens Unable To Name All 340 Million Americans
WASHINGTON—Revealing a steep decline in the populace’s knowledge of its own country, a distressing survey commissioned Monday by the Department of Education found that most U.S. citizens are unable to name all 340 million Americans. “The ability to recite from memory the names of each of the nation’s residents used to be a basic component of a person’s civic knowledge, but of the respondents we polled, only 15% could list them all,” said researcher Janet Medallis, adding that a full third of respondents incorrectly included citizens of Canada and Mexico in their answers. “People made it through the Johns and Marys confidently enough, but most of them trailed off well before naming a single Kip. As alarming as it is to say, the average European can probably name more U.S. citizens than the average American. It’s a full-blown educational crisis. And keep in mind, this is just asking them for first and last. God only knows how bad it would be if we asked them to list all 340 million middle initials too.” At press time, the researchers had reportedly petitioned Congress to appropriate $50 million for name tags.
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