READING, PA—With a look of hardened resolve crossing the man’s face as he discovered the large recliner was unoccupied, witnesses confirmed Wednesday that local elderly resident Robert Delacio had set his sights on a big chair. According to sources, Delacio hobbled determinedly toward the worn gray seat, throwing a sharp stare at a nearby young grandson who had started to make movements in the same direction. Delacio reportedly groaned with anticipation as he quickened the pace of his shuffle, focusing his effort as if every year of his long life had earned him this reward. At press time, sources reported that the elderly man was standing motionless next to the recliner, having successfully reached it and then realized he had no viable strategy for sitting down.
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