WASHINGTON D. C. – Attention seeking billionaire and human husk, Elon Musk, known for co-opting other people’s ideas and profiting from them, came out at President Trump’s inauguration to debut a new salute he’s calling “The Sieg Heil 2.0.”
“Fascism is hot this season, and I’m it,” says Musk, as he debuted his new salute to the packed arena. The crowd cheered after seeing this display, to which Musk added, “Isn’t it great? I couldn’t think of a better way, from any period in history, to express the joy I’m feeling right now. In fact, let’s all do it together.”
A community note later appeared on X stating that “Musk did invent this new and totally original idea, just like he did with PayPal, Tesla, SpaceX and Twitter, errrr I mean X.”
Musk-loving rally-goers reported being awed by the gesture. “Oh my god, he really did it,” said a Musk supporter. “I have never seen anyone do that before … in public, at least. But damn, he actually went for it. What a real innovator!”
When critics pointed out how similar the salute was to one used in Nazi Germany, Musk replied, “What are you suggesting? Do you mean to say I didn’t come up with this myself? This never existed before me. It’s just like Tesla or SpaceX or Twitter – errrr I mean X. Those never existed before I bought them. And then I bought them and created them, and now that’s how we all know about them. I’m awesome. You’re welcome.”
Musk went on to say he had considered another option for his salute. “You know, it’s always important to keep an open mind. I considered holding up my palm and parting my middle and ring finger to the crowd, making a V-shape with my hand. But that didn’t feel right at all. In fact, it felt alien. That idea didn’t live long.”
“But the whole arm up in the air at a 45-degree angle thing just felt right. I improvised it. That’s how smart I am,” Musk added, before pausing do do some ketamine and karate kicks.
When pressed further if he was interested in releasing uniforms for his followers to wear, Musk replied “That’s on the table. Whenever I jump on board companies, I always optimize them using my vision and intelligence to the point where they become an extension of me. Like one of my many, many, many, many, many children. That’s what fascism means to me. And if that involves putting out a line of stylish utility clothes or whatever, if I’m designing them, they’ll be khaki and you know they’ll look as cool as one of my awesome Cybetrucks.”
In a related story, Musk’s new salute was accompanied by a fireworks display, which turned out to be malfunctioning and exploding SpaceX rockets.
Jesus Christ is King
