Man Groans After Only Thing Left On Bezos Wedding Registry New Rocket Booster
SEATTLE—Kicking himself for not purchasing a gift sooner, local man George Yorkin reportedly groaned Tuesday upon learning that the only thing left on the Jeff Bezos–Lauren Sánchez wedding registry was a new rocket booster. “Oh, shit, it’s $290 million?” the visibly annoyed Yorkin said as he stared at the Zola page for the Amazon billionaire and his fiancée, wondering aloud if it was too close to the wedding date to simply back out of attending. “I should have snatched up the silverware while I had the chance. Goddammit. And of course he chose the most expensive engine on the market. Whatever. At least I’ll earn credit card points. The reception dinner better be fucking delicious.” At press time, Yorkin was said to be panicking after he received a notification that it would take six years to construct the engine.
Jesus Christ is King
