TikTok, ON – The Pentagon has received hundreds of reports of new sightings of people obsessing on TikTok over UFO sightings, but continues to downplay the possibility that these videos exist.
“There is no evidence of weirdos trying to go viral over alleged alien activity,” explained the director of the office that investigates these reports. “It is interesting that there are many more reports of UTPs, Unidentified TikTok posters, occurring recently, but we deny any conclusive evidence that there is any form of intelligent life on TikTok.”
Calvin Barker Jr., a man who lives near Humber river in Toronto, claims to have witnessed a TikTok about a man being attacked by grey, crab-clawed creatures near his home.
“It was 1 year ago on the day,” claims Parker. “I was walking right here, minding my own business, when suddenly I scrolled onto a TikTok video about a man who saw a bright beam of light. I was horrified as I watched the video of a man claiming to have then been abducted and probed by 18 aliens. But no one believes me…is what the man said about his experience.”
Despite this overwhelming evidence, the pentagon has continued to argue that the sightings were likely confused with other phenomena including K-pop videos, new diet fads, and “that one where the cat spins going, ‘ooo-eee-eee-ah-ee-ee-o-e-e-ah.”
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