Jesus' Coming Back

We Must Protect The First Amendment At All Costs vs. No Thanks, I’ll Just Take My Freedoms For Granted Until They Disappear

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Um, I’m not. Sorry if that makes me sound like a dick. I’m not against the First Amendment or anything. If someone said I could, like, erase the First Amendment right now, I’d say “no” in two seconds. It’s just that the First Amendment is not something I think about or intend to think about anytime in the future. I guess what I’m planning to do is just take my First Amendment freedoms for granted until they’re gone.

Look, a busy person like me isn’t going to spend a bunch of time in his day going to bat for the First Amendment, not when I can just act like it’ll always be there until one day I’m proven disastrously wrong. For me, it’s much more convenient to pretend that the First Amendment is untouchable and then discover way too late that its freedoms are fragile and can actually be stripped away from all of us. Possibly forever.

Yeah, I’ll eventually learn the hard way. For now, though, I’m more than okay with fooling myself into believing I won’t.

If you ask me what freedoms are contained in the First Amendment, I can give you speech, and I think religion’s another? Maybe the right to choose lunch? I dunno. I can’t tell you what the others are, or even how many there are, which is totally fine because I’m just waiting until they vanish to find out what they used to be. Makes sense, right?

Hey, if people want to protect the First Amendment, I’m not going to stop them. I hope they do a great job. And who knows? Maybe I’ll check in on my rights from time to time. But if I’m being honest, I’m just going to kick back and assume all is well until it really, really isn’t. I guess it won’t matter what I do after that.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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