CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI – Law enforcement officers have confirmed that an ongoing search for an escaped convict, nearing 3 hours, is slated to be the longest someone has been able to evade the authorities in the province’s history.
According to RCMP officer Gordon Mills, the hunt for the escapee is starting to look bleak. “We asked around in Charlottetown and he wasn’t there. We checked around Alberton, and no one had seen him there either. If he’s not in the McDonald’s, or the other McDonald’s, we will officially be out of locations to check.”
Mills added, “It’s getting late and soon we have to send the officers home. It’s not like (the suspect) can run through the night, right? It’s my first manhunt, but I think those are the rules.”
The RCMP and local police departments are pulling all the stops to locate this fugitive and bring him back into custody, including raising the fee to exit the province via the Confederation Bridge, having one guy stand on the beach and turn around every few minutes, and confirming that they could indeed look inside buildings for the convict.
Gerald Crandle, who was serving 10 years in Prince County Correctional Centre for 5 counts of potato smuggling, was reported missing earlier today after a prison field trip to one of several Green Gables museums. While Crandle is technically considered a non-violent offender, prison guards have described him as “really aggressive” while playing table tennis, making him the most violent fugitive in PEI history.
With this being the longest game of cat-and-mouse the province has ever seen, Mills is starting to get worried. “This has gone on so long, we’ve actually lost a few members of the search party who suddenly realized that THEY could leave the province and not come back.
Mills added, “We have to find this fugitive soon. It’s chilly out and I don’t think he took a sweater.”
At press time, the situation may resolve itself as experts think Crandle may be trying to swim for freedom, but the currents will surely lead him to the penal colony of New Brunswick.
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.