After Trump’s executive order that banned castrating kids, America’s gender surgeons have suddenly found themselves out of a job. Sad!
Despite our differences with them, we at the Babylon Bee have graciously compiled a list of perfect landing spots for newly unemployed gender surgeons:
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Pickle slicer at a deli: Because, you know.
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Person who takes peanuts out of their shells at the factory: An easy transition.
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Mohel: You wouldn’t get to cut off the whole thing, but it’s better than nothing.
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Swashbuckler: Take other people’s property and chop off a part of them as you do!
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Sushi Chef: Trade that scalpel for a Sashimi knife.
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Travel back in time to when eunuchs were popular and be the guy who does the eunuch-making: It’s perfect.
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Serial killer: Really it’s the same job, you just do it faster.
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Pants tailor: You can’t actually cut people’s junk, but at least you can get your knife really close.
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Hostage torturer: We hear Hezbollah is hiring – you can still have a pager and everything.
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Surgeon who performs ethical, medically necessary procedures: A bit of a stretch.
The job market for gender surgeons may have dried up, but there are still plenty of careers for these cutters. Good luck!
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Travis is back on his mission to interview everyone. Next on the list is celebrity chef and restauranteur Andrew Gruel.
Jesus Christ is King
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