Jesus' Coming Back

Court Rules Elephants Can’t Sue To Leave Zoo

The Colorado Supreme Court unanimously ruled that five elderly elephants don’t have legal standing to sue to leave a local zoo because they’re not human. What do you think?

“We can still sue elephants though, right?”

Molly Klink, Jam Spreader


“That’s all the greenlight I needed to start eating them.”

Joe Caruso, Megaphone Tester


“What’s more human than suing people?”

Will Szymanski, Water Bottler

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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