Despite CDC recommendations that everyone get their shot by the end of October, less than half of American adults receive flu vaccines, with many refraining due to misinformation they encounter online. The Onion breaks down common myths about immunizations and how they really affect the body.
MYTH: The flu shot is free.
FACT: While the flu shot is covered by most insurance, including Medicare, you’ll never get back those 40 minutes you spent in line.
MYTH: This won’t hurt.
FACT: Motherfucker!
MYTH: I had the vaccine and still got the flu, so it doesn’t work.
FACT: It’s your body that doesn’t work.
MYTH: If I’m allergic to eggs, I can’t get the flu shot.
FACT: If you’re allergic to eggs, you can’t get a western omelet.
MYTH: Hi, I had an appointment to get my flu shot at 4:45?
FACT: Your silly, artificial construct of time is meaningless here at the Walgreens pharmacy counter.
MYTH: The flu shot can have strong side effects like fever and fatigue.
FACT: Movie day!
MYTH: I’m pregnant, so I shouldn’t get the flu shot.
FACT: Honey, what? I thought you were on the pill!
MYTH: It’s too late to get the flu vaccine.
FACT: The flu vaccine can be administered safely up to two weeks after rigor mortis.
MYTH: Flu shots are only for kids and the elderly.
FACT: Kids and the elderly are just much easier to force into getting them.
Jesus Christ is King
