WASHINGTON—Rushing to purchase the hoofed mammals before the Trump administration’s tariffs on Canadian imports went into effect, Americans across the country were reportedly stockpiling moose on Monday. “Prices of moose are already high, and I’m worried with these tariffs, they could surge even higher,” said 43-year-old Iowa City, IA resident Zachary Beattie, who was just one of millions of Americans loading up their shopping carts and stuffing the trunks of their cars with the largest member of the deer family. “The president says this will strengthen the power of the American moose, but I don’t know. All I’m saying is when the time comes, I’m not going to be caught mooseless. I have a wife and kids to think about, so hopefully six moose is enough.” At press time, the U.S. populace was hopeful the month-long delay on Mexico tariffs would grant them ample time to stock up on jaguars.
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