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Elon Musk Offers Self $10 Billion Federal Buyout

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WASHINGTON—Saying he was just more deadweight hampering the executive branch’s ability to function efficiently, Elon Musk confirmed Monday that he had offered himself $10 billion to resign from his position as head of President Trump’s Department of Government Efficiency. “Like many other federal employees, I too have been presented with a buyout option as part of my effort to create a more streamlined and flexible government workforce,” said Musk, adding that he had given himself until Feb. 6 to accept the terms of a “dignified, fair departure” from his government position. “On the one hand, this job has been really, really good to me. On the other, it might make sense to quit now and avoid the risk of being downsized by myself later on.” At press time, Musk had reportedly upped his buyout offer to $20 billion but had yet to convince himself that number was anywhere close to what he could rake in with unprecedented control of the federal bureaucracy.

The Onion

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