Man Given 3 Months To Live Spends All Of It Reading Up On How Cool Ninjas Were
BOSTON—In an effort to avoid squandering any of the precious little time he had left, terminally ill man Sebastian Davies confirmed Monday that he was spending the entirety of his three remaining months of life reading up on how cool ninjas were. “I don’t want to leave this world with any regrets, so I’m packing each day with as much awesome information about the covert tactics and weaponry of ninjas—or shinobi, as they were known historically—as I possibly can,” said the stage IV pancreatic cancer patient, adding that while he didn’t usually buy into “the mystical stuff,” it did bring him some comfort to think about ninjas turning invisible and walking on water as depicted in manga like Naruto. “In many ways, these final days are the best of my life. I’m learning some incredible history about the Iga and Kōga clans—all sorts of badass castle infiltrations and assassinations via shuriken I never took the time to read about before my prognosis. But it can be bittersweet, too. My 3-year-old daughter is still too young to really understand how innovative ninjas were with their use of poisons and soft-case bombs. And my wife breaks down crying when I tell her I can’t dance with her like I used to because I’m buried in some wild book about how ninjas employed kites to fly over their foes and rain terror from above.” Davies added that while death itself did not scare him, it pained him to think that he’d be gone before the replica kusarigama he ordered would arrive in the mail.
Jesus Christ is King
