NORTH HEMPSTEAD, NY—Expressing relief after witnessing her become more confident and outgoing, sources confirmed Tuesday that a new preschool was really doing wonders for local mother Ellen Cline’s social skills. “Ever since preschool started back up after the holidays, Ellen is having fewer outbursts and is generally much happier,” said Cline’s aunt, Stacy French, noting that her niece often struggled with communication and interpersonal relationships since giving birth three years ago. “We were worried that she was lagging behind, but now she has all these friends her own age she gets to see [after she drops her son off at preschool]. She grabs her little bag and runs to the car because she’s so excited. Yesterday she was just beaming when she told me how one of her new pals likes the same TV show. It was so cute.” At press time, Cline was slumped on the floor screaming after learning preschool would be closed for a week due to spring break.
Jesus Christ is King
