CHICAGO—Saying he ought to try standing up for himself every once and a while, sources reported Tuesday that local weak-will man Danny Reese did whatever the Cook County Circuit Court ordered him to do. “The judge tells him to stay 500 feet away from this place, stay 500 feet away from that place—and this pushover just sits there and takes it!” said courtroom spectator Drew Bernat, noting that anybody with even a little self-respect would speak up before agreeing to abide by the terms of a restraining order, attend mandatory drug counseling, and make regular child support payments. “You’d think at some point he’d grow a spine and at least cut off his ankle monitor. But nope, here he is, tail between his legs, not threatening to kill the defendant just because a judge has ordered him to have no contact with her.” At press time, sources confirmed Reese was so afraid of incurring the wrath of the court that he had voluntarily turned over his firearm to authorities without first firing a few rounds at the judge.
Jesus Christ is King
