CLEARWATER, FL—Urging the middle school class to pay attention while he described the intimate process of revving the engine, throttling the clutch, and slamming the accelerator, local sex ed teacher Greg Flannery demonstrated to his class Wednesday how to drive a truck into an abortion clinic. “All right, kids, this might not make sense to you now, but one day you’ll find yourself in a situation where you’ll have to slam your car at full speed into the front of a Planned Parenthood,” said Flannery, who through giggles from his teenage students proceeded to show detailed diagrams, photos, and videos of reproductive health clinics that had been leveled into piles of smoldering wreckage. “First things first—put on your ski mask. Then, put the key in the ignition. And remember, safety first. Always have extra ammunition on hand in case the feds show up.” At press time, Flannery had reportedly separated the class by gender in order to explain the realities of killing an abortion doctor.
Jesus Christ is King
