LOS ANGELES – With Donald Trump’s second presidential term underway, feminine hygiene brand Tampax has unveiled a bold new marketing strategy encouraging women to harness the sense of anger, disbelief and grief into having the greatest periods the world has ever seen.
“Listen, we’re all hurting,” a voiceover in a new TV spot tells viewers. “But the best revenge on a country that feels like it’s turned its back on you is to engage in the longest and most voluminous period you’ve ever had. And we at Tampax want to help you with that.”
In addition to new motivational slogans like “Don’t seethe, bleed,” and “the government will not protect you but we offer all-day protection” and “Change happens one clump at a time,” Tampax is encouraging users to tag them on social media.
“Tell us about your super-duper fantastic all-timer periods to win free merch,” a Tampax spokesperson told reporters. Advertisements include a woman riding a bike, a teenage girl confidently striding into her first school dance, and a proud female executive pointing a firehose of blue liquid at an all-male conference room.
While ad executives were confident in the campaign, the reception has been polarized.
“Why should it be ME that has to take responsibility for having a giant period?” Shelly Tring of Portland, Maine told reporters. “This country has been leaning on women to fix its mistakes for too long, and some corporation telling us we have to fight back by having epic, extra-splashy periods is just so tone-deaf.”
But despite these misgivings, many women and people who get periods have expressed delight at the campaign.
“After watching this guy rise to power, then return to power, then surround himself with violent, incompetent misogynists, it’s easy to feel defeated,” Emma Plirtman told reporters. “But I appreciate Tampax reminding me that a gooey, gushy, high-octane period is a great way to fight back. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
At press time, Tampax was offering a new promotional $200 gift card to anyone who got their period during the WNBA finals.
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